remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
