Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
