So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
