so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
