Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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