There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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