I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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