babies were throwing up all over the place
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
