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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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