I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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