just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
