I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
