it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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