Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
