I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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