So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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