he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize