i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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