I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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