I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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