apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
