So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
