I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
