so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
