I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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