So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My hand turned me down
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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