Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've blown a few things in my day
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
