do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize