It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
