you guys were way drunker than both of me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
