But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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