Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
whose parrot is this?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
