Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize