I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
