Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
