Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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