I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
