No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
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Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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