He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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