You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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