She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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