Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I need water and some morals
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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