he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
