is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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