He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
