We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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