i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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