So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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