i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
