In the future we'll all be gay
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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