I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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