how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize