i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize