3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
