I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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