Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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