how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize